what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
