I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
