i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
