I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
