sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
