yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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