What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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