Why does Corona taste like a burp?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
