Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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