i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
