So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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