it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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