Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
