Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
