The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can't talk, ducks in the car
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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