She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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