Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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