Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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