We named our party play list daddy issues
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
