Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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