Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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