I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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