i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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