yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
