the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
