i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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