i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
