You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
