No stitches, just platelets and will power
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
