It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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