The maid of honor just puked.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
only you would photoshop your dick
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
