Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
