Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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