there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
