i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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