tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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