A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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