If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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