Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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