okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
