How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize