i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
