So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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