i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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