They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
