Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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