does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
