You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
