that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
high people should be assigned attendants
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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