Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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