Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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