party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
